MsLola
18-08-2009, 12:55 PM
Hi everyone!
I'm a first time poster and i really need some advice.
I have been seeing a girl for 3 1/2 years, we've been living together for 2 1/2 and i have known her for 10. She has had boyfriends in the past and i am her first female partner.
The issue is that we never have sex anymore, i cant remember the last time we had sex. At a guess i would say 5 months ago and its been like this for 2 years.
We have never had a very fulfilling sex life, in fact when we first starting dating it took her 6 months to go down on me and give me an orgasm. I have always been very sexually attracted to her, but ive never really felt it from her end.
In the beginning she assured me it was because this was all new to her and she was scared, then her excuse was that her parents didnt know she was gay and we couldnt be alone to be physcial and then when we moved in together he excuses have ranged from tired from work, shes not sure what to do, im not romantic enough, her period and she has things to do.
I have always been patient, never pushed her into anything. I have kept open lines of communication with her , talked about ALL her fears, guided her through everything, got her books, videos, showed her websites and i always make an effort to make her feel attractive, loved and secure. What more can i do?
What does everyone think? She isnt sexaully attracted to me is she? i dont feel it, i have been with people who in the beginning we were all over each other passionately, but we never had this. She may not even be attracted to women?
I have asked her if she is sexaully attracted to me and at first she was seemed unsure, then she said no, then she said yes she definately once and has stuck to that response since. She tells me that she just isnt into sex as much as i am and we just have varying libidos....but surely she would want to have sex atleast once a month! She was way more sexually active with her past boyfriends!!
If she isnt sexaully attracted to me, what should i do about the relationship?
We kiss and hug and lie next to each other and chat for hours. We are best friends and she tells me she wants to marry me, spend the rest of her life with me, she even dreams at night about our marriage.
The few times i've headed towards a conversation about taking a break from our relationships she starts to cry and tell me how she cant think of a life without me. She gets jealous and possessive when i talk to other attractive girls, she acts like the doting girlfriend, BUT she always avoids sex where she can, i have to direct her to go 'downtown' and at times she has had to get tipsdy to have sex with me......How can i stay in this relationship??????
Please any advice would really help me!!!!!!!
Sorry its so long peeps!! :confused::confused:
I'm a first time poster and i really need some advice.
I have been seeing a girl for 3 1/2 years, we've been living together for 2 1/2 and i have known her for 10. She has had boyfriends in the past and i am her first female partner.
The issue is that we never have sex anymore, i cant remember the last time we had sex. At a guess i would say 5 months ago and its been like this for 2 years.
We have never had a very fulfilling sex life, in fact when we first starting dating it took her 6 months to go down on me and give me an orgasm. I have always been very sexually attracted to her, but ive never really felt it from her end.
In the beginning she assured me it was because this was all new to her and she was scared, then her excuse was that her parents didnt know she was gay and we couldnt be alone to be physcial and then when we moved in together he excuses have ranged from tired from work, shes not sure what to do, im not romantic enough, her period and she has things to do.
I have always been patient, never pushed her into anything. I have kept open lines of communication with her , talked about ALL her fears, guided her through everything, got her books, videos, showed her websites and i always make an effort to make her feel attractive, loved and secure. What more can i do?
What does everyone think? She isnt sexaully attracted to me is she? i dont feel it, i have been with people who in the beginning we were all over each other passionately, but we never had this. She may not even be attracted to women?
I have asked her if she is sexaully attracted to me and at first she was seemed unsure, then she said no, then she said yes she definately once and has stuck to that response since. She tells me that she just isnt into sex as much as i am and we just have varying libidos....but surely she would want to have sex atleast once a month! She was way more sexually active with her past boyfriends!!
If she isnt sexaully attracted to me, what should i do about the relationship?
We kiss and hug and lie next to each other and chat for hours. We are best friends and she tells me she wants to marry me, spend the rest of her life with me, she even dreams at night about our marriage.
The few times i've headed towards a conversation about taking a break from our relationships she starts to cry and tell me how she cant think of a life without me. She gets jealous and possessive when i talk to other attractive girls, she acts like the doting girlfriend, BUT she always avoids sex where she can, i have to direct her to go 'downtown' and at times she has had to get tipsdy to have sex with me......How can i stay in this relationship??????
Please any advice would really help me!!!!!!!
Sorry its so long peeps!! :confused::confused: